This is the frist time I have tried to do this so it should be interesting and rather pathetic. I was done with todays attempt to get something accomplished and was walking down at the bottom of the driveway. Just gazing into the creek. I was wondering who was it that choses the length of ones existence? My grandparents (on Mom's side) lived for over 80 years each. My Grandmother (on Dad's side) lived past 80 as well. I never expected to live 40 years let alone 50 or 60. I have come to the point where nothing much stirs my imagination any more. I was wondering if that is happening to anyone else. I soon remembered that most of the people I know are more concerned with if they are going to get laid in the next 24 hours than anything much deeper. The confusion I am experiencing is more than just a passing thought. I truly am confused as to what to do next. The job market is crap. I never get..... I think I need to retrace my steps and look in another manner. More proactive seems to be warranted. I keep receiving information for Jon in the mail. Everyone knows he is going to graduate next summer but for some fucked up reason, they think he lives here. I think that must be someone in Florida's doing. I keep sending them back. Enough for this posting. More later.