This afternoon, I went and visited my grandmother. It was raining and cold. But I was going by so I thought I should stop. I try and stop as often as I can. I do not think it makes a difference to her, but it does to me.
I have often wondered what would have happened if I had stayed in Cincinnati and not left for the Navy. Would have things really been that different? Would the influences of my Grandparents been as great? Even though I got along very well with them, I think it was a bigger factor in what I did after I left. The fact that I always saw them as an unchanging constant. Even though things always changed with them, It always seemed to be the same. That calm, cool, "Slow and steady wins the race" composure was always the same.
On my "Little Grandmother's" birthday, I had typed up so much stuff, I had a difficult time it reducing the size of the document. After about 4 hours of toil, I could not even post what I had written. I will go back during Christmas vacation and finally post what I wanted to write in the first place.
The thing you might not know, is why I really miss her. One of the many reason is that she always put up with my crap and always kissed me goodbye when I left, and never said anything to me that didn't have a lot of thought behind it. OK, maybe when she asked me to get a haircut when I was in high school, but that was just backing up my Fathers retort. That is one of those things you can never forget.
I could not attend her funeral when she passed, mainly because I could not bear to see her without the smile and happy laugh she always had. To remember her this way is the only way I can now. I really think that other members of the family were upset I didn't attend, but I visit regularly now as I did when she was in the nursing home. Besides, what better type of day is there to remember the people you love, than a day where you can hear nothing but the rain on the grass, and the wind in the trees.
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