I have to admit, I think a lot about the kids when I have an asthmatic reaction to something. With all the asbestos, silica dust, heavy metals, and plain old crapola' I have breathed in over the years, I really get very upset everytime I find it difficult to breath. That, and 3 of my friends from high school have died from cancer. One even died from lung cancer.
Now take into consideration, I wrote this at 0330 in the morning, while sitting in my pickup truck. It does not change the ideas behind the story, but it does change the perspective if that makes sense.Ok, now your asking why does he think about the kids? Well, mainly because I am concerned what would happen to them if something took me out of the picture. Bridget is not the healthest person in the world. What I am concerned with is who would take care of them? I mean, there are not a lot of options here.
The Choices?
- My Parents: My parents are not in the position to take care of them. They would do if it was necessary, but I don't know. Those three kids are a lot to handle 24/7/365.
- Close family, my side: The only family I know is my cousin Meg. I am not sure what would be the situation there. She is just getting her son out of the house. My Aunt will be her main focus in the near future. We were never 'close' and my Uncle was the man who raised her son as his own. Even then, he said he did it "because there was no one else there".
- Bridget's Sister: She is kinda at the bottom of the potentials list. This is for no other reason than we don't want to ask. Even though I am going to say what I mean, no one will understand it. First, She has never had kids & she has a second husband who treats her well. They are building a new home somewhere in California. From what I gather from Bridget and her Mother, it is not going to be a place to raise kids. I really don't see being able to ask her for this kind of assistance. She has never really had to be hardened to doing something this intense and important. I know bridget and I have talked about making them guardians, but we have never done the paperwork. This was for fear of being turned down when and/or if the time comes where we would need them. This goes back to why she is at the bottom of the list. We can't be worried that they will not come through in the end so we have talked about other measures we would exhaust first. They are not a bad choice. Matter of fact, they are the best choice we have. The age is right, the ideals he has are the best, and I think they would make great parents. Yeah, I told you it wouldn't make sense.
- Bridget's Parents: Teenie and Dave would be the best bet for the well-being of the kids. They love the kids and the kids love them too! They are not too old to get them through high school either. The only problem I see is that they are not in the best of health. One of the reasons we are concerned about them in their own right is that fact there. Teenie has apparently had some kind of a stroke and she is what Dave is taking care of. This also puts them further down the list of potentials.
- Friends: I have several friends who would be great parents. Only thing is that I really doubt anyone of them would take the job.
- My Ex-wife: This is kind of a moot point. She had become so hateful to me that I could never even consider her If she did get custody, I don't know if she would treat them like little kids, or abuse them because they are my children. I used to think I knew her. All of the stuff she pulled when we were married, I knew. She didn't get away with anything. I knew about it all and just let it pass because I said "for better or for worse" and had meant it. These items, and what ever husband number she is up to, would make her the worst choice.
- Bridget's Aunt Mickey and Uncle Mike: I think they would be great guardians / parents for the kids. From what I have learned, they are wonderful, caring people who would do what is right for the kids. The problem as I understand it, is that Uncle Mike is not feeling the best and I doubt it would be good for him to have three kids around. This is just my opinion. I could be wrong.
- The last choice: This is the most radical, the best, and worst all together, my son Jon. I would have to say, that of all the people, he is the one I would have to ask. I have found it difficult to ask anyone else in my mind. I place a very high emotional value on him. When you love someone like I love my kids, I would have to say that the only one to place the trust with something so precious, would be with someone who is also so precious to me. He is a good kid and I believe that he has the ideas, spirit, and fortitude to get through this if necessary. He lived through being with My Ex-wife all these years. That has to say something. I really don't know if he could be man enough to handle this. I would like to think he could do this because of the sheer importance of the kids. I hope I never have to find out.
If you understood what I am thinking, I applaude your reasoning skills. If you didn't get it, that is OK. Life is too short to take everything at face value.
Now you can see the delima I have been thinking about for the last year. Nothing I could do would allow me to fathom the outcome of the 'what if' scenerio. Maybe it is just me. I have always tried to depend on no one and that means at all times of my life. The time I depended on my parents for support when I was laid off was the most tramatic times I have ever had. I rate it above getting divorced on the "most stressful things that could happen to a person in their life."
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