Rehashing for the second time around

I have to admit that this is the same thing I stressed over when I left Jacksonville. I had to leave Jon behind with my ex-wife and the problems they were having. It is not like I had any choice in the matter. I was still active duty and the place they transfered me to was over a thousand miles from him.

Even though my ex-wife had called me no less than three times to say "I can't take this anymore" or that she could not handle him anymore, I never was able to get custody. Every time I said, "No problem. We can take him as soon as possible". Then (inevitably), she would start to realize that not only would her troubles be over, but she would lose $1,200 to $1,500 a month. I know in my heart, that is the reason she always seemed to overcome any problems with Jon. Not because she tried harder, he tried harder, or things got better overnight. She just got it in her head that she would lose money.

I never thought about putting a price on somes life. I didn't have to make this terrible idea up. It was in front of my face all along. I didn't ever realize it until last night. I would say that the feeling of "falling off the turnip truck" would not cover that sinking feeling I had at the moment of realization, but it is close.

I used to worry that if I wrote something here, My family, son or inlaws would read it. I am pretty sure that does not happen. I have been keeping track of who views my blog via my sitemeter. Nothing In Jacksonville or California appears to ever register. Thus, I am writing for me. At least I have things off my chest.

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Fears of trying to take a deep breath

I have to admit, I think a lot about the kids when I have an asthmatic reaction to something. With all the asbestos, silica dust, heavy metals, and plain old crapola' I have breathed in over the years, I really get very upset everytime I find it difficult to breath. That, and 3 of my friends from high school have died from cancer. One even died from lung cancer.

Now take into consideration, I wrote this at 0330 in the morning, while sitting in my pickup truck. It does not change the ideas behind the story, but it does change the perspective if that makes sense.

Ok, now your asking why does he think about the kids? Well, mainly because I am concerned what would happen to them if something took me out of the picture. Bridget is not the healthest person in the world. What I am concerned with is who would take care of them? I mean, there are not a lot of options here.

The Choices?

• My Parents: My parents are not in the position to take care of them. They would do if it was necessary, but I don't know. Those three kids are a lot to handle 24/7/365.
• Close family, my side: The only family I know is my cousin Meg. I am not sure what would be the situation there. She is just getting her son out of the house. My Aunt will be her main focus in the near future. We were never 'close' and my Uncle was the man who raised her son as his own. Even then, he said he did it "because there was no one else there".
• Bridget's Sister: She is kinda at the bottom of the potentials list. This is for no other reason than we don't want to ask. Even though I am going to say what I mean, no one will understand it. First, She has never had kids & she has a second husband who treats her well. They are building a new home somewhere in California. From what I gather from Bridget and her Mother, it is not going to be a place to raise kids. I really don't see being able to ask her for this kind of assistance. She has never really had to be hardened to doing something this intense and important. I know bridget and I have talked about making them guardians, but we have never done the paperwork. This was for fear of being turned down when and/or if the time comes where we would need them. This goes back to why she is at the bottom of the list. We can't be worried that they will not come through in the end so we have talked about other measures we would exhaust first. They are not a bad choice. Matter of fact, they are the best choice we have. The age is right, the ideals he has are the best, and I think they would make great parents. Yeah, I told you it wouldn't make sense.
• Bridget's Parents: Teenie and Dave would be the best bet for the well-being of the kids. They love the kids and the kids love them too! They are not too old to get them through high school either. The only problem I see is that they are not in the best of health. One of the reasons we are concerned about them in their own right is that fact there. Teenie has apparently had some kind of a stroke and she is what Dave is taking care of. This also puts them further down the list of potentials.
• Friends: I have several friends who would be great parents. Only thing is that I really doubt anyone of them would take the job.
• My Ex-wife: This is kind of a moot point. She had become so hateful to me that I could never even consider her If she did get custody, I don't know if she would treat them like little kids, or abuse them because they are my children. I used to think I knew her. All of the stuff she pulled when we were married, I knew. She didn't get away with anything. I knew about it all and just let it pass because I said "for better or for worse" and had meant it. These items, and what ever husband number she is up to, would make her the worst choice.
• Bridget's Aunt Mickey and Uncle Mike: I think they would be great guardians / parents for the kids. From what I have learned, they are wonderful, caring people who would do what is right for the kids. The problem as I understand it, is that Uncle Mike is not feeling the best and I doubt it would be good for him to have three kids around. This is just my opinion. I could be wrong.
• The last choice: This is the most radical, the best, and worst all together, my son Jon. I would have to say, that of all the people, he is the one I would have to ask. I have found it difficult to ask anyone else in my mind. I place a very high emotional value on him. When you love someone like I love my kids, I would have to say that the only one to place the trust with something so precious, would be with someone who is also so precious to me. He is a good kid and I believe that he has the ideas, spirit, and fortitude to get through this if necessary. He lived through being with My Ex-wife all these years. That has to say something. I really don't know if he could be man enough to handle this. I would like to think he could do this because of the sheer importance of the kids. I hope I never have to find out.

If you understood what I am thinking, I applaude your reasoning skills. If you didn't get it, that is OK. Life is too short to take everything at face value.

Now you can see the delima I have been thinking about for the last year. Nothing I could do would allow me to fathom the outcome of the 'what if' scenerio. Maybe it is just me. I have always tried to depend on no one and that means at all times of my life. The time I depended on my parents for support when I was laid off was the most tramatic times I have ever had. I rate it above getting divorced on the "most stressful things that could happen to a person in their life."

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Defining the color code

Before modern times, (OK, back in the time of the cavemen) men would just club a woman, drag her back to their cave, and then have their hairy way with her. It seems that today's youth have an even more inventive game to play, "Snap".

Girls wear different colored jelly bracelets, and the guys attempt to "snap" the bracelets off. Depending on the color bracelet the guy snaps, he gets a sexual reward. So, does this mean if you grab a slap bracelet, you get to slap her? Well, that is not what is happening. Things are a little more intense than just an innocent slap or snap.

The internet is a wonderful thing. There is actually a whole website devoted to this specific idea. Yes, there is a detailed FAQ and Yes, you can buy them there too if I am not mistaken. Be sure to read the FAQ if you are worried that little 4th graders are playing games on the playground not authorized by their parents. This seems to be more of a hoax than a fact for kids. But just the same, I am still watching what the kids bring home and talk about when they were at school. They are not that slick that they can get away with things (yet).

Sex Bracelet Color Code

• Black - Sexual Intercourse
• Blue - Blow Job
• Red - Lap Dance
• Green - Cunnilingus
• Clear - Your Choice
• Orange - Kiss
• Yellow - Hug
• Purple - Anal Sex
• Silver - Fisting
• White - Titty Flash
• Pink - Flashing
• Gold Glitter - Make Out
• Brown - Tossed Salad
• Glow in the dark - Sex Toy Fun 

How many moms and dads, do you think, are confiscating their daughters jelly jewelry after hearing reports of this on the news? "Amanda, I don't care that it matches your purple shoes. You are NOT leaving this house, wearing that purple jelly bracelet and that's FINAL!"

I have found numerous instances of this on the net.  When I asked a friend who just graduated from high school if this was really happening, she responded with a resounding "Yes".  So hide the bracelets there kids unless you have half a brain and don't listen to crap like this.

The new "twist" on keeping parents oblivious

One of the new parts of this, is that you can go to most stores and find these colored bracelets embossed with a hundred different sayings (on only one side) Many of the bracelets are wide and you see phrases like "W.W.J.D." and "In God We Trust", and things like that. The point is that I have seen many girls with these bracelets with the phase turned inside by their arm. This takes the innocent bracelet and makes it available to be used as a means to an end. Not that everyone buying these items are doing this.

Better to ask than not.

I have done some asking around. I have asked girls in pairs & in public places, where lots of people were around for my safety. I have asked why they turn their bracelets inside-out? Most just answer and coily smile, turn, and walk away. I have been telling them that my daughter told me about this and that I was trying to find out what she said was true. Half of the time I had my daughter with me, so I didn't look like a nutcase for asking. That, and I currently have a big scruffy beard, burr haircut, a fedora, and usually have work clothes on. That in itself is enough to scare the crap out of most people. Anyway, the breakdown of whom I asked and what their responses were are as follows:

• All of them were wearing jelly or rubber bracelet,
• I asked 14 girls,
• All of which I would age from 14 to 17,
• None of the girls had an adult around and it appeared that all had one in the group/pair that was driving the rest around
• All of them knew what I was asking about and why,
• 6 of them said that it was "a bunch of crap"
• I believe 8 had the bracelets inside out
• Of those 8, when asked if they turned it inside-out themselves (on purpose), all said "yes"

So, there you go. It isn't pretty, but I wanted to know the specifics. Sure, I am not worried about my kids (yet). But I always feel that I would rather know the stuff that goes on with kids in school, than putting my head in the sand and ignoring the problem until it bites me in the ass.

By the way, I have language filtering turned on in my blog. If your offended by what I have said, either turn on your filtering software, don't come back here, or put your head in the sand. Sometime reality sucks.

Personally, I hope watches don't enter into this. One of the girls said "Well, your wearing a silver watch and you know what that means!!!" I didn't know what she was talking about until I came home and looked at my list. She knew what it meant, as well as the 14 or so year old that was with her because they were laughing about it. If it does translate over, I think I am in big trouble.

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Late night talk radio

This entry is currently being revised. Please check back in a little while. This thought is not yet complete!

Why is it, that the people who call into Latenight talk radio never have any problem saying things like:

• "I have seen bigfoot (Right outside Miami),"
• "I can see the things in your room",
• "There are government people watching my house",
• "Just because I am Wiccan, does not mean I can't be good",
• "I run my car on used cooking oil and the exhaust smells like french fries",
• "The terrorists are planning to destroy Wall Street next month",
• (And my fav) "I would rather stay up all night to listen to Art Bell, than be awake during the day to listen to Limbaugh",

With the string of late (third) shifts I have pulled, I have really gotten hooked on Coast to Coast AM. The things that I always like to hear discussed, are discussed at that time of the morning. I am not sure if it is because only intense people are up at that time and the marshmallow type people are sleeping, or what?!?

.

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Utilityman positions & Yagoohoogle

Just as a random thought, I did a yagoohoogle search for "utilityman". I found that there are bunches of jobs out there for that position & many of them I had never seen in the job search sites.

In the event you didn't know, there is a site called "Yagoohoogle!" where the two search engines are pitted side-by-side in the same browser window. If you do lots of searches, you should check it out.

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I have been saying it all along, your screwed

I am finally seeing the fraud in the media for call centers overseas. This is just the one you can read about. Just remember, that if you use Cincinnati Bell Wireless, you have to give your social security number to a person in a call center in Canada. Prepare to be screwed.

Indian call centre staff in $350,000 Citibank theft

If the text of this article is unavailable, click here. I saved a copy for you.

Don't forget to always double check your phone bill. Mine is consistently wrong and they don't seem to give a damn about it.

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Work Blog Linking

Well, that was relatively easy. I made an icon of a CSX Engine. The detail is terrible, but I had to figure out the way to get an entire engine into 34 by 34 pixels. Not an easy task. Took me about 90 minutes to get it to where it is now. I am rather happy about that one. It is not that great but at least I can see what it is. Hopefully, you can see what it is too! I will tweak it a little more if someone wants it or something. That would give me a reason to go a little more indepth. For just me, this is fine.

I use it as a desktop icon for a shortcut to CSX Webconnect. You can't miss this icon as long as you don't have a super-busy desktop. If you would like a copy of it, please click here and take it. I am going to try and rework it later on and make it look a little neater. That, and I am going to work on a wide-body too. If someone wants it, I can probably do any type of car or 'shoving platform' as long as the detail is low.

If you want to make the shortcut, click the link & copy the file off to your hard drive somewhere safe, like 'c:\windows\' or something like that. Then make your shortcut as usual. After you create your shortcut, just right click on it, choose 'properties' and then the 'change icon' button and browse to where ever you saved it. Couldn't be easier.

I use Firefox as my main browser so I will not have the problem of saving the file and thrashing it into the correct format as someone with Internet Explorer will. With Firefox, you click on the link, the new window pops up and you do a 'file, save as' and it is already named and you can put it where you like without any hassles. If your using IE, your going to have to save it, and then rename it and then save it to where you want it. Don't forget where you got it.

Just as a sidebar.... I have used Firefox for accessing Webconnect for over 6 months and I have had a much easier time wrangling that mainframe connection this way. You will have to install the java plugin, but that is easy enough. Just click on the Java button once you have Firefox installed and it is self configuring. But this is all just my opinion, you might do better with IE.

I also created a linking button to my work blog. That was very easy too. All I did was go into the editor and pick the colors that went with the standards of this style sheet. Then I just punched in the right colors and there ya are! Piece of cake.

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Getting blood from a turnip

This entry is currently being revised. Please check back in a little while. This thought is not yet complete!

Yesterday we received a credit card in the mail we didn't order or apply for. Thus, I am in 'credit-fraud panic' for the next 15 days.

So far, I have done the only things I know to do. I have requested a credit report from the three credit bureaus to do a credit check. I am holding off on putting a fraud alert on my accounts until I do a little checking first. I figure that the only accounts we have are protected and not able to be defrauded very easily.

Upon closer investigation, the three credit bureaus which are supposed to provide you with a copy of 'your personal information', will not do so unless you either pay for 'your personal information', or have had something bad happen to you.

This does not even have anything to do with the two recient credit information disasters that have happened in the last months time. I will not get into that but you can find more by doing a google search.

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Spring Break

This entry is currently being revised. Please check back in a little while. This thought is not yet complete!

Meet the Grandparents

During spring break, Bridget took the kids to see my parents. The kids all had a great time and played in the sun.

ffrom what I saw in the pictures they brought back and their accounts, they swam, hunted Easter Eggs, and generally played a bunch.

Kennedy Space Center

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Spyware recheck time

Yes, it is time to update your pattern files and check for malicious software and do a complete virus scan.

No, this is not a April Fools joke.

Spybot - Search & Destroy 1.3, There are new updates and the immunize feature now blocks 2545 malicious pieces of software. If you do not run tea-timer' (which runs in the system tray on startup) you should immunize and run a full scan. Don't have it, download it here. Questions? Just email me.

Ad-Aware® SE Personal Edition - This software in a new version so if your version is not as the title displayed here, go to add-remove programs, uninstall it and install the new version before proceeding. When you run it, don't forget to run the pattern updates too. Questions? Just email me.

There are others out there, but why buy something that comes free. Yes, I send spybot a stipen once in a while. They help me, I help them. That is the way it should be.

Now, Just do it!

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