I have never really liked birthdays or celebrating birthdays since I was little. It was never a big thing to me. It was an add-on. Now, I see this as a problem because others seem to make an issue out of their birthday. To many I have met, their birthday really is a big occasion.
Why are birthdays just another day for me? Why do I loth them so? I truly think this goes back to when I was a kid. You see, my Birthday is always either right around or on Thanksgiving. All the family would come over for Thanksgiving dinner and we would always have a pumpkin pie, or my Aunt would make a Red Velvet cake. I love them both and one was always considered my birthday cake. So, the holiday was the reason to get everyone together. It was never really "My Birthday" alone. I think my Mom & Dad would take real offense to this, or even get upset. That is not why I am telling this. I am saying it now, because this is how I view the situation, (That, and my Mom told me they never read this blog anyway.)
Well, I think that this is basic psychology. If no one makes a big deal out of it, it is unimportant. So, since my birthday was a sidebar to the holiday, it must not be important. OK, this is kid thinking. I know that my parents would be upset at me saying this. But it is how a kid thinks. A learned action or habit is hard to forget and an annual party with another subject as the main theme would make anyone think that it was unimportant.
I need to start off by saying that my parents did a wonderful thing every year getting everyone together. It was always very nice. All my Grandparents were there every year. Other members of the family normally showed up. The Batavia side showed up when I was smaller. Or at least, I have pictures of them there. My Aunt Judy, with her Beehive hairdo and the like. The pictures are dated of various years in the late 60s. I would get birthday presents and have a nice time. But it was more the family get-together. I can't quote you the psycho-babble on why this happened. It just did. Maybe the adage, "No good deed ever goes unpunished" really fits this sitation. My parents did everything to make it special, but no matter how extravagant our annual Thanksgiving get-together was, it was never really my Birthday. It was Thanksgiving 'with' my birthday.
I did have a couple of friends in high school who took exception to my "Birthday Misgivings", but they tried all the same. I really only remember two girlfriends who really made a big thing of "my" birthday.
(BTW, neither of the two who cared were my ex-wife. Birthdays with her were always a painful experience. Both for me, and then my son. Considering she never really wanted to marry me, (which will be another entry later on) it made it easier to make birthdays an excuse for her and other things.)earlier (in high school) my friends were to the point where we did things together on or around my birthday where it was more a time to just slow down and watch the world go by. It was not about presents, just spending time together.
One thing Bridget does is make the kids Birthday special. She also makes them completely seperate from any other event. To stress this point, I will use William's Birthday last year as an example. Last Year, Bridget's Aunt died and she had to go out to Oregon for a week or so. His birthday was over that week and he was so upset because we didn't celebrate his birthday. Eight months later, he still brings it up and until his next birthday where we all do something to celebarate it, I know he will be upset. I just hope nothing happens to anyone this year. That would be tough on him (and everyone else) since we celebrated his brother and sisters birthday in the following months.
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